It was the final year of my degree and I guess you could say the stress of it and the student lifestyle were beginning to take a toll on not only my mind but also, my skin.
My journey with acne began when I was around 13 like most people and I dealt with it in a mild form all through my teen years. One thing I had always believed was that once you were in your 20's those terrible, teenage skin days would be behind you...well, I was wrong.
At the age of 21 I begun to develop Cystic Acne, a more severe, painful version of acne, that also leaves scarring. Not only is this form of acne more notable, it is also way more uncomfortable, when you can feel it developing it sections of your face will feel red hot, or it feels as though, and now I am going to be slightly graphic here as though boiling hot water or acid is being injected under your skin where the cysts are forming.
I only want to mention just how uncomfortable and painful the condition is, so that others who have not experienced it can sympathise. As to be honest, there are so many 'acne positive' or 'Cystic Acne' positive sites online, it really seems hard to believe sometimes just how painful it is. I saw so many bloggers talking with smiling faces about how 'acne doesn't define you' and other encouraging phrases, but while I agree this is all true it is very hard to feel that way when you feel as though you look like a crack addict. I have to be honest, if I was to go out without make up on, that is genuinely how I felt I looked. I felt as though I appeared dirty also, as I thought people would assume I didn't wash my face enough. I also felt like I had to wear heavy foundation to cover it, which looking back is obviously really not great for the skin and for clogging the pores.
So all this combined, you can see why Cystic Acne can really have a major effect on someone's self esteem. I remember viewing one video online of a girl crying while dealing with her Cystic Acne and that I could relate to. Not that I was in tears every day, more so the fact that it is a really irritating thing to go through.
So my advice on acne and remaining positive is well, it's fine not to be positive. It's a really, really crappy thing to go through and sometimes even after changing your diet, keeping your face clean and going on medication you may still will have breakouts here and there. One thing I am proud of is now, a few years later , I can go out without make up on. I believe the main thing to embrace is that, it's not your fault. As someone who strives to look, as many of us do, neat and presentable, going through something that made me feel unhygienic and messy was embarrassing and degrading.
But now I just think, if you know in yourself that you have washed your face, tried to keep to a healthy diet and are doing your best to deal with a situation then that's good enough, that is the best you can do.
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